Groseclose Window

Window as obsolete as I

With individual panes and portals

Each curved glass carefully placed

Reflecting the inner turmoil

Centered on communication between two halves

Like parts of me that do not see the meaning

Hidden in the prisms of craftsmanship

Tribute to the futility of self-inspection

Window mobilized by ancient ropes

Disguised by the curtain call

Sliding heavenward and hellward

As fluidly as my scandalous moods

Masking the abuse of time

Window of my idolization

Mecca of my pondering

Where natural gods can be peered upon

And dust motes read as tea leaves

Divining the truth of insignificance

Mirroring miniscule infinity

My own abyss is my awareness

The numberless stars I can count

Window, the universe is tiny in your grasp

And yet compared to that universe

You and I are black atoms

Just as replaceable with as easy a division

If man can split I from your dark grains

Then my hold on this world

Is as greased as your mechanisms

Heart's age is our betrayer

March 2, 2008

I've been concentrating on ideals recently, although I believe to even call them that retracts some of their mystic powers. I cannot understand how we as a society have segregated ourselves into two subcategories as if God were to open his great creature index flip to 'human race' and pull out two manila envelopes packed with names and say "Hmm, do I want an idealist today or a cynicist?" Life is os full of hollow concerns, complaints. When am I going to realize that I can dump this baggage? Boyfriends, clothes, iPods, cars, television and the internet. It has to go. I have to get my priorities straight. I've got to stop saying I'm an idealist and start acting like one. Live by testimony.

I'm so confused with everything right now. ACT, college, driving, Prom, Yearbook editor. As if any of these things are detrimental .

Today I watched love fall apart

Today I watched love fall apart
Chink into tiny stacks
Of nickels and dimes
Gone
Each one
Hitting a different
Tangy note inside
My soul
Nickels
Nickels
Dimes
Dimes
Heartbreak
Love
Gone
Each stack
Reiterating the
Truth of a Dead Soul